He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
