Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
