if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Will exercising make me less horny?
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