This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Never joke about your clitoris.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
