Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
