that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
