what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
