Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
