Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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