im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
