I forgot how hot balto sounded
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
