Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
