YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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