You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
