Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
