Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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