Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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