When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
