But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
