we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
