She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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