So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
