Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
