is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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