How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
