I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I don't think brook has ever known best
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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