Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Randomize
