It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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