Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
