I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
