Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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