So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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