she looked like the bat from fern gully.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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