i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
