just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
