You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
