Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
