it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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