I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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