we have pet lesbian snakes
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
