I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
God I need to hump something, right now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
