the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
