In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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