wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
