So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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