i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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