operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Randomize
