My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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