i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
