3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
