Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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