Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
