hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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