Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
